If I remember my own insights when I happened upon this idea, the first thing I realized was just how negative the world around me really was. I hadn't heard it before, but once I became aware, I couldn't hang around in the teacher's lunchroom. The negativity actually soured me on lunch!

Just getting away from the negative conversations wasn't enough. I needed to take hold of the world around me. First, I needed to internally refute the negativity I was hearing, and change the picture in my mind to a more positive one - just like I've asked you to do. Then, once I was more confident and comfortable with in my internal conversation, it was time to externally stop the negativity, but literally saying, "Stop. No more. This isn't helping the situation. What if." and then I'd go on to paint the picture of a solution rather than continue to dwell on the problem.

If this whole idea of taking a negative and rephrasing - or reframing - the conversation into the positive is new to you, then this will take a little practice. However, it is possible, and the more you do it, the easier it becomes. Pretty soon, it becomes automatic for you, as this new habit pattern becomes a part of who you are.

And once you get the hang of it, and become mindfully effective at moving to the positive, then I can almost guarantee you will be calmer, happier, and able to handle whatever comes your way. And those around you? Well, they will want to be just like you. Go ahead, give them the secret. They will be glad you did.

All of us have a deep need to be involved in the world. This need is expressed in our desire for close relationships and social encounters, our need to feel valuable and connected in a vital way to life, and our need to have our actions count.

But commitment means little without some kind of affirmative action. It is what we choose to do that determines the nature of our commitment. Commitment means making a choice and giving ourselves time to involve ourselves with whatever that choice is.

It means accepting the limitations of that choice as well as the benefits, and it means entering into a relationship with whatever we are committed to, be it a person, a career, creating a work of art, remodeling the basement, or what have you.

When we make a commitment, we cannot hope to gain any greater satisfaction from the relationship than we are willing to put into it. And, ultimately, it is only through a deep commitment that we discover who we are as individuals and can grow fully and give to others freely. Commitment is not a matter of thinking thoughts or speaking words. It requires real time and real action.

What are you committed to? Does what you do and the way you spend your time reflect that commitment?

What made Larry Bird one of the best players in basketball? He was considered slow, and many thought he could not jump. Sometimes it almost looked like he was playing in slow motion. But Larry Bird succeeded as a player because he was totally dedicated to success. He practiced more, played harder, and had more mental toughness than most of his competitors. He got more out of his talents than almost anyone did.

The same was true with Tom Watson, the great golfer. Tom was nothing special at Stanford, considered just another kid on the team. But his coach still talks about him, saying, "I never saw anyone practice more." 

You see, the difference in physical skills between athletes doesn't tell you much. It's the quality of their commitment that separates the good players from the great. People who are committed to success are willing to do whatever it takes, as long as it doesn't harm anyone else. Everything they do reflects their commitment.

Ask yourself the following questions and think about your answers: "How strong is your commitment - to your career, your relationships, your personal growth? How much of your time and energy do you give these things? Do the results you get reflect your level of commitment?"

Now here is another question: How do you feel about those answers?

As you move forward with your plans for personal growth and change, there is bound to be a consequent change in your closest relationships. You see, your personal changes may be threatening to a partner who is insecure with change. You may find yourself facing spoken or unspoken messages that say, in essence, "Change back! You can't grow because I don't want you to!"

If this happens, you have to decide what is best to do. You may choose to return to your old self and not change.

If you reach an impasse and the situation gets too rough, you may choose to leave the relationship or you may choose to take the risk of change and work toward helping your partner change. Of course, it won't be helpful to push her or him into change. It has to be seen as something desirable, so painting a visual and verbal picture of the benefits both of you would receive is probably the way to go.

Be patient and persistent, and try to put yourself in the other person's shoes. Demonstrate self-respect and respect for your significant other as well. If real caring and intimacy exist in your relationship, almost any change can be worked out, and will eventually be another reaffirmation of your love and commitment to each other.

You know, there are a lot of people out there who believe that it's never too late to change, and in general, I'm one of them. I certainly believe that positive change can be achieved at any and every age, and in just about every human condition.

Now, I believe this because I've seen it happen over and over again. There simply is no upper limit to the age at which people can choose to grow and change. But there's a catch to believing it's never too late, and that's what bothers me a bit.

If you believe that no matter when you start out you will never be too late, it can lead to chronic procrastination. Change becomes something that's always down the road, always in the future, always something you are going to do someday. But you know, there is one thing that waiting until tomorrow will make you too late for, and that's the fullness of life today.

Just think about it. Every time you make a positive change in your life, it leads you to doors of opportunity and well-being that you couldn't even see before you made the change. It also enables you to make other changes more quickly and easily. And it's not just you reaping the benefits - it is everyone with whom you come into contact.

So you see, while it may never be too late to begin, the sooner you begin the greater your opportunity for gain.

What would you like to change about your life? If you'd like to do more than hope for this change, it's a good idea to write out specific goals and sub-goals detailing the steps you need to take in order to get there.

It's also a good idea to support your change efforts by using affirmations and visualizations, because all meaningful and lasting change starts on the inside first, and then moves out. You see, if you use them correctly, affirmations and visualizations will help you take a lot of the stress out of change.

Now, it's important to remember that change needs to be something you really want to do, not just something you think you have to do. If it is a "have-to" you will get a lot of push-back from your subconscious.  

It is the people who are totally satisfied with their lives, exactly the way they are, that I am concerned about. You see, humans are teleological beings, which means they are goal-directed. If there is nothing you are striving for, nothing you really want to accomplish or change, life becomes stale and you become complacent. You lose your creative energy and drive and you flatten out.

So if you could use an energy boost, try setting some achievable goals that matter to you and see what happens.

In organizations where the talk is negative, where people gossip about each other and take every opportunity to complain and gripe about problems, and where people take a perverse kind of pride in shooting down each other's ideas, productivity suffers enormously. But productivity isn't the only thing that suffers. It feels just plain awful to work in an environment like this, doesn't it? And it takes a tremendous toll on your energy and even on your health in the long run.

But in highly successful organizations, it's a different story. If you walk around these companies, you will see innovation, risk-taking, and creativity everywhere you look. You will see people who feel personally accountable for the success of their co-workers as well as their own success.

You will see people who feel like they are on the same team working toward a common goal, and you'll hear it in the way they talk to each other. Players on a winning team help each other, respect each other, and build each other up. And, their talk focuses not on problems, but on solutions.

What's the talk like where you work? If it's often negative, what could you do to change it?

There's a special technique we teach in our seminars that can help you do your best whenever you want to. It's called, "flick-back, flick-up" and it works like this:

Let's say I'm going to give a talk at someplace unfamiliar and I'm feeling a bit nervous. Mentally, I will "flick-back" to a triumphant situation in my past - a time when I did a good job and felt really in control. I visualize that situation and I see myself doing a great job. I remember the good feelings attached to it and how it felt to be poised, confident, and competent.

Then I "flick-up" to the future, and I "borrow" those positive emotions and project them into the new situation. If I have plenty of time, I do it over and over again, visualizing myself in the room where I'm going to give the talk, feeling poised, confident, and competent.

I also write an affirmation for myself - something like, "Whenever I give a talk in unfamiliar surroundings, I feel comfortable and I do a great job." Then, when it's time to actually give the talk, it almost feels like déjà vu - I've been there before, but in my mind.

You can do this with virtually any situation. You can do it on the spot, in just seconds, if you have to. Throw yourself into the positive memory for a few moments, and then flick it up to what you are about to do. Try it the next time the pressure is on. I think you'll be surprised at just how well it works.

You see, according to David Wolfe, author of "Serving the Ageless Market," there is a big difference in thought patterns and values between older adults and their younger counterparts. For example, in middle age, quality begins to gain over quantity in importance. This leads many middle-aged and older folks to spend more on goods for the sake of quality. With an aging baby-boom population, this is of significance.  

People who have a middle-aged perspective look for deeper psychological and metaphorical meanings, and grasp the relationship between concepts more quickly. They value self-sufficiency, social connection, altruism, personal growth, and personal revitalization. Once these values are understood, a business' next step is to find advertising and sales cues that will invoke them.

This may mean changing sales and advertising strategies, but "change" was the watchword of the 1990's. And here in the "new" century, change is still the watchword. In this information age, and the speed at which we are bombarded with information, those companies who are able to adapt, indeed, embrace change are the ones that will capture the future.

How good is your business at adapting to change? How good are you?

I know there are some individuals in the world who think that people are essentially bad, and that goodness has to be pounded into us, more or less against our will. I don't buy it. I believe that people are basically good. Why, just look at a baby - any baby in the world - if you want to test the idea.

Babies aren't evil or resistant or fearful. Babies, given basic care and affection, are by nature happy little beings. This means that nearly all of us started out living in love and joy.

If you are not still living that way, it doesn't mean you are bad. It means that somewhere along the way you were taught to expect less. You behaved accordingly, and less is what you got stuck with. But you don't have to stay stuck. I have spent over 40 years helping people change, so I know this is possible. And those people are no smarter or better or capable than you.

Today and every day you have a choice to make: Do you want to be happy? Do you want to live a satisfying, productive, adventurous life?

If so, you can do it! Visualize it, affirm it in everything you do and say, and behave as if you already were!  Start today, and get ready for a great tomorrow!